Archive for the ‘That’s Just Silly’ Category

Open letter to Robert Zemeckis: Please stop making zombie movies.

Dear Bob,

There’s this thing called the Uncanny Valley, and you’ve apparently built a summer home there.

Yes, i agree, technology is really cool and computers are pretty sweet too, but you see, we wacky humans have this response to “nearly human” stuff. When you get close to human, but not quite there, we get really creeped out.

When you made your first zombie flick, The Polar Express, i know you didn’t mean to make children cry, but when zombie Tom Hanks takes the train full of zombie children to zombie Santa …

Uncanny valley, Bob.

Then came Beowulf. Sure, i know Grendel is supposed to be scary, but you know, when zombie Ray Winstone macks on zombie Robin Wright Penn, but then gets seduced by zombie Angelina Jolie, it’s not sexy, Bob, it’s kinda creepy.

It’s partially the dead eyes that don’t quite track the way they should. it’s somewhat the poorly articulated hands that seem to grope at things LIKE THE LIVING DEAD. *ahem* sorry.

Now you’re making the uncanny valley zombie version of A Christmas Carol

… will zombie Jim Carrey and … oh you get the idea, it looks really disturbing and … it’s time to stop, Bob.

We love special effects, Bob. We really do. The world is ready for another live action Contact, or Forrest Gump, or even another Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Back To The Future, Bob.

Come on, come out of the valley.

William Shatner will rock your socks off

Ever since i found this i just can’t get it out of my head. I’ve infected J, Diana, and a bunch of other friends with it. I’ve watched it at least once a day for the last four days and one of us randomly brings it up every hour or so. It’s … hypnotic.


Mashups make people sound crazy, but frankly the source interview is just totally insane.

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I’m now so addicted to shatner music that i have to watch this one daily too.

Go ahead, watch it, feel the zen.

Novelburns final update

It’s done. The book’s not in perfect shape, matter of fact it’s pretty sickly. But i’ve let go of this draft and sent it off to some initial readers.

Which means ….

I can shave off these ridiculous sideburns!

Here’s a recap for those who missed the progression:
Sideburns day 01sideburns_day_02sideburns_day_03sideburns_day_04sideburns_day_05wolvie

Then i dyed them purple.

slimeybleacheddyedsopurple

And now, with the novel off to the readers, i SHAVE THEM OFF!

grrrrshavefuzz

OMG!

OMG!

Hmmm … what should i do with this novelburns fuzz? Maybe i’ll threaten to mail it to someone who’s behind on their wordcount?

Suggestions?

FREE MONEY!

No, seriously, keep reading.

If you’ve been tracking me, you know this book has been a major pain. Well, i’m done screwing around with it. I’m sick of whining about it, i just want it done … at least the first draft.

So i have a plan.

And you can help.

First off, i’m doing the NaNoWriMo thing. I can have this book completely done in 25 days if i write, rewrite or edit 3000 words a day (roughly 15 pages.) Hell, my friend Devon writes 5000 new words practically every day, and she knits and is raising 200 children and and and … so i can … well … she’s a lot cooler than me, but i’ll still do it!

But like i said, i’m sick of the back and forth, so i’m adding an element of danger and possibly giving away cash prizes in the meantime.

Here’s the deal.

Sign up for a day on the list below. Either in the comments or send me an email. If, on your day, i don’t increase the length of my novel manuscript by 3000 words, i’ll mail or Paypal you $10.

No catches, no exceptions. This isn’t a bet. If i DO succeed in hitting my word goal for the day, rather than getting $10, you’ll get a lovely handcrafted email thanking you for helping me motivate. See? Win win!

Sign up for a day. First come first serve! Send me your name and a site, blog, twitter to link to. I’ll put you on the calendar. Tell your friends! 25 days is a lot to fill up.

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[UPDATE] OK! Here’s the lucky contestants:

Saturday, May 16th: Dave Lerner
Sunday, May 17th: Sean Markey
Monday, May 18th: Amal El-Mohtar
Tuesday, May 19th: AnarchicQ
Wednesday, May 20th: John Burridge
Thursday, May 21st: Chris Battey
Friday, May 22nd: Ethan McCutchen and Nina Kiriki Hoffman (DOUBLE DAY!)
Saturday, May 23rd: Beth Wodzinski
Sunday, May 24th: Pati Nagle
Monday, May 25th: Kishi
Tuesday, May 26th: Emily Mangan
Wednesday, May 27th: Loreen Heneghan
Thursday, May 28th: Holly Arrow
Friday, May 29th: Arashinomoui and Bruce Holland Rogers (DOUBLE DAY!)
Saturday, May 30th: Merchimerch
Sunday, May 31st: Dave Raines
Monday, June 1st: Kevin Kenan
Tuesday, June 2nd: Rachel A
Wednesday, June 3rd: The Ferrett
Thursday, June 4th: Diana Standish
Friday, June 5th: Misa Arant and Jerry Oltion (DOUBLE DAY!)
Saturday, June 6th: Lydia Rhoads
Sunday, June 7th: Josh English
Monday, June 8th: Teng Chek
Tuesday, June 9th: J Peters
Wednesday, June 10th: Valerie Polichar and Eugene Fischer (DOUBLE DAY!)
Who wants to make some money? Well, no one, because i intend to hit my goal everyday.

Bring it on.