I’m never sure if I’m hilarious or a jerk

Hey Kyle,

I don’t hold you personally responsible for this. I imagine CapWest has written guidelines as to how often to contact someone who’s filled out your mortgage form.

Apparently its twelve times in nineteen days.

Maybe you have an app on the computer in front of you, and my name and number just keep popping up. And you’re required to keep at me.

I empathize. I’ve had some crappy jobs in the past.

Anyway, if you could pass this up the ole corporate ladder for me, I’d appreciate it:

Hi, someone-higher-up-than-Kyle,

Wow, twelve calls and emails in nineteen days! That sure seems like a lot, doesn’t it?

It is.

If this were a dating situation, I’d be calling the police about now. But, seeing that it’s about a low-interest mortgage, I guess you should know that this many calls feels a bit desperate and I think I’d rather see someone more confident and secure with themselves. I hope you understand.

Oh, hey, Kyle, after you do that, could you take me off your contact list?


UPDATE: A reply from Kyle.

I would like to apologize for the amount of calls. I will shoot this up the chain.


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