I’m never sure if I’m hilarious or a jerk

Hey Kyle,

I don’t hold you personally responsible for this. I imagine CapWest has written guidelines as to how often to contact someone who’s filled out your mortgage form.

Apparently its twelve times in nineteen days.

Maybe you have an app on the computer in front of you, and my name and number just keep popping up. And you’re required to keep at me.

I empathize. I’ve had some crappy jobs in the past.

Anyway, if you could pass this up the ole corporate ladder for me, I’d appreciate it:

Hi, someone-higher-up-than-Kyle,

Wow, twelve calls and emails in nineteen days! That sure seems like a lot, doesn’t it?

It is.

If this were a dating situation, I’d be calling the police about now. But, seeing that it’s about a low-interest mortgage, I guess you should know that this many calls feels a bit desperate and I think I’d rather see someone more confident and secure with themselves. I hope you understand.

Oh, hey, Kyle, after you do that, could you take me off your contact list?


UPDATE: A reply from Kyle.

I would like to apologize for the amount of calls. I will shoot this up the chain.


Wow, sometimes it does pay to look yourself up on Amazon.

“My favorite of this issue is Grá Linnaea’s “Beneath the Floorboards,” a chilly little yarn about a runaway boy who steals his father’s precious grandfather clock. I can’t say much about the events herein without doing a spoiler, so I’ll just note that it’s surreal and spooky, with elements that may remind you of Robert Bloch.”

Review of “One Buck Horror – Issue 5” on Amazon

Life With a Smartphone

Posted by ON in Dear Diary

Of course I voted in favor of fluoridation.

Posted by ON in Dear Diary

Of course I voted in favor of fluoridation.


Some of my friends feel differently, and that’s fine, but I wanted to share my process for voting and why I vote the way I do, maybe in the hopes that it’s a process that’s useful to people.


When I heard a friend of mine was (vehemently) against fluoridating our water supply here in Portland, Oregon, I was confused. Wasn’t that the weird issue that came up in the 50s and turned out to be nothing?


But people were pretty upset about it all, so it seemed smart to do some research.


I think if someone is voting on a moral/ethical issue, they need to consider their values. If we were voting on gay or women’s or minority rights, I would turn to my values of egalitarianism and equality. If I were voting on a new education bill or policy around environmental standards, I’d be considering my beliefs and ethics around children and the environment, but I’d also try to figure out if enough good is being done to justify the costs of doing it.


No one seems upset about the costs of Fluoridating our water (it’s relatively cheap.) So it seems (to me) to be an issue of public health and science.

So, like any good voting citizen should, I researched.


I read this: http://www.cdc.gov/fluoridation/

and then this: http://www.hhs.gov/news/press/2011pres/01/20110107a.html

and then this: http://www.who.int/water_sanitation_health/publications/fluoride_drinking_water/en/

and this: http://www.quackwatch.com/03HealthPromotion/fluoride.html

and this: Fluoride Paranoia and Betteridge’s Law


(I also read some ardent anti-fluoride sites, which I’m not going to link … because I found them alarmist, undocumented and generally irrational. Google fluoridation, they’re easy enough to find.)


Anyway, from reviewing data, I found the issue considered, tested, safe and generally good for the community. A no-brainer.


I marked yes on my ballot, politely declined my friends’ anti-fluoridation invites and got on with the next issue.


It is my hope that if you haven’t voted yet, that you look at real research and data before you decide.


But regardless, when the vote is done, we will go one way or another. Personally, I hope the winner is choice that will help poor people and children live healthier lives, but we’ll get by either way.


Regardless of how they vote, my friends will still be my friends, and we’ll deal with our decisions the best we can.

Nephilim’s Teddy Bear

Posted by ON in Dear Diary

The mouse in question Seems like there are distinct opinions about about the emotional experience of animals, especially pets. I guess I’ve seen the gambit between deep anthropomorphizing of a rich series of motivations and strategies painted onto cats meowing and dogs panting, all the way to folks taking on the cold Descartian idea that animals have no feelings whatsoever.


I’m pretty deeply on team animal rights, but I also feel pretty sure that we can’t just paint our emotional experience onto other species and call it good. Y’know?


Nephilim, before and after Anyway, I have this cat, Nephilim Supercat Linnaea, and jesus I love this cat so freakin’ much. And I’m pretty sure she loves the living hell out of me. Neffy begs to be picked up when I come home, she purrs whenever I get near her, she follows me from room to room, she often sleeps next to me. It breaks my heart.

I adopted Neffy from a shelter. The day before, they had rescued her from a cat-lady hoarder situation. She was so skinny, we thought she was a short haired runt.




teddy bear 1 Elina and I have been doing our best to make sure Nephilim has a happy life. Not to drown her in bizarre cat objects, but to keep her healthy, happy and make it clear she’s safe and loved and will never go hungry again.

Elina found the witch mouse. I didn’t think much of it either way. It was just a little purple mouse with a black witch hat on it’s head. It had some plastic or something inside so it crinkled when squeezed. I think it cost her a few dollars.


teddy bear 2 Besides me, there’s nothing Nephilim loves more in the world. She’s okay with string and laser pointers and she really likes to chew up plastic bags, but she freakin’ loves this mouse. She has other similar toys, but none of them are her teddy bear like witch mouse.

And, trust me, I relate. I carried around Ruffy, the little blue dog knitted by my mom. I did everything with Ruffy till he was threadbare. I think Mom patched that toy dog for me at least three or four times. She kept him after I grew too old for powder blue knit dogs. Last time I saw Ruffy, I was shocked at how tiny he’d become.


teddy bear 3 The hat didn’t last long, and then went the eyes. It doesn’t look like much of anything anymore, but she carries it around with her like a teddy bear. She’ll drop it at our feet so we’ll throw it. She brings it back to us over and over, like a dog. She entertain herself with the beaten up thing for hours. She brings it to bed with her when she sleeps.


I spend a ridiculous amount of brain power on worrying about how I’m going to replace it for her when it finally comes apart.

So, there’s my cat, who I love to death, who loves me to death, and who loves the shit out of her ridiculous purple teddy mouse.