…yet again, from a moving truck.
We've traveled 7711 miles so far. The tour is over, we've packed J's parent's stuff in the truck, and we're driving west. By the time we get home our travel will top 10,000 miles…
In the past weeks i've tried to write these mostly with the goal of making you laugh. I'll probably think of something funny before i finish this journal, but i'm also aware that i feel kinda burnt out. I wish i was home right now, preferably in a big cuddle pile.
That said, we're currently in Kansas going west on Highway 70 towards Denver. The golden rolling hills are aflame under patches of sunlight poking through masses of fluffy clouds. From time to time we see shrubs, trees, and the occasional lazy gang of cows.
In short, it's pretty.
J's Dad gave me some computer speakers, so we're listening to MP3s offa my laptop. Most of you know i tend to lean towards electronic dance music, punk/metal, and bombastic classical music. But there's something about the landscape here, we're mostly listening to Paul Simon, Brett Dennen, and The Proclaimers.
I realize that i've been covering over some of my feelings in these journals. I see myself quashing some of my sadness and presenting it as cynical humor.
Yesterday i burst into tears, J and i sat in the cab of the truck crying for an hour.
I think i'd finally reached my limits of TV and billboards that said, “God Bless American, In God We Trust” “Abortion Stops A Beating Heart” or “Freedom Isn't Free. Support Our Troops” The worst of the entire tour was, “My America supports it's troops WHEREEVER they go. No aid or comfort to our enemies. No way!”
J once used the term “Heartsick” when she was describing to me how she sometimes felt about american culture. That's how i feel these days, heartsick. I want to go back to our bubble in Eugene where people touch each other, recycle their waste, and aren't caught in a cycle where they work themselves to death to buy shit they don't need. I felt so much better after i cried for a while.
J and i talked about this later on. What do we do with this? We can't just hide out in Eugene, but the longer we spent out here the unhealthier we feel. I just can't even imagine it anymore, living in this constant barrage of fear-news and advertising and stress.
Of coarse look at me. I'm tooling around to clubs and college campuses driving a gas burning vehicle 10,000 miles to get famous and sell college students shit they don't need. Sigh. So much for right livelihood.
The best we've been able to come with is that it's important for us to live somewhere healthy and it's important for us to get out here and interact with folks who live in this mess. I'm happy to have a little money to live off of, so i can spend my time doing volunteer work, activism, and music.
We've also been trying to live as best we can. We've brought tupperwear everywhere with us and have argued with innumerable hotel and university staff that we wont use their damn styrophom and just put the goddamn burrito in the tupperware.
And those automatic flush toilets, you know, the ones that flush like three times as you try to situate yourself in the stall. I hate those things. In the past 11 states i've been sticking tape over the sensors so people can use the button if they chose to flush. I should print up little stickers that say, “These things waste water” and put those over the sensors. Grrrrr…
Anyway, sorry for the preaching. I'm worn a little thin today.
We did see a few billboards that we thought were funny;
There was this billboard with a hip skater kid holding a bowl of rice and it said, “Rice. Awesome!”
On the same highway was one with this totally pimpin' looking guy, and it said, “I'd slow down if i were you.” He was even winking. Nice.
So anyway, our plan is to stop in Laramie, WY and then probably Twin Falls, ID. Then we'll maybe crash (no, not literally silly) in Portland, then finally Eugene.