I'm kidding. Kidding! Love me, Clarion!

It's just that i haven't really written a word since i got accepted into Clarion. I've lost my ability to rewrite or even mail out stories. Sheesh!

Part of it is this sort of false expectation (i'm putting on myself) that now i have to “step up to the plate” and “produce quality.”

I have images of Kelly Link (who is, by the way, my favorite author ever, seriously, ever) reading one of my stories and being like, “how did this guy get in here?”

Then everyone will pat me on the head and say, “that's ok, you always have your music… oh, that's right, we've heard that too… awkward.”

Ok, it's not as bad as all that. I'm just trying to take every opportunity to obsess, so i can get my full value from the program.

Maybe i should just go back to stressing about how i'm going to pay for this thing.

… i all like got excepted into Clarion and stuff.

This sounds calm. But i'm not. I'm jumping around and screaming and tripping over things and generally freaking out.

If you don't know, or haven't heard me talk about it incessantly for the last week, Clarion is a very esteemed six week writing workshop called Clarion ( http://theclarionfoundation.org/ .)

It was established in 1968 by some of the top speculative fiction writers of the time, and some of the most famous spec-fic writers since have gone through Clarion.

This year, the workshop has some really amazing people teaching, including: Kelly Link (probably tied for my favorite author, ever – http://www.kellylink.net/ ), Nalo Hopkinson ( http://nalohopkinson.com/ ), and Neil Gaiman (did you see “Star Dust”? Sandman? American Gods or
Good Omens? All him. http://www.neilgaiman.com/ )

So this year twice as many people applied… and Clarion still only accepted seventeen students.

I'm one of them.

I don't think a blog can convey how much i'm freaking out, jumping around or just walking around in a daze, occasionally mumbling, “i'm going to Clarion.” Clichés be damned. It's one of those “once in a lifetime” opportunities.

Whew.

I also applied for a scholarship. I'll find out around the 15th if i get it.

Wish me luck.

So, looks like i'm going to disappear for six weeks in the end of June. Maybe i'll try to figure out how the hell to make that work with Heart of Now and the rest of my life.

Did i mention whew?