I woke up at five am this morning feeling awful. Partially because i’m on day three of a painful stress-induced neck lockup, but also a sore throat and my sinuses full of junk. I’m feeling nervous because people have been throwing around the word pneumonia a lot lately.

I’d been invited last night to an all-night study/writing session by Elina, but i had the gut feeling that … well, my guts weren’t in very good shape.

Course, the thing is i have this shiny new job and accompanying shiny new health-care, so i should have a reasonable course of action. But i’ve been so caught up in work / relationship / writing / life stress that … i’ve been completely lame and not taken care of it (also said health-care provider has made it extremely difficult to secure a doctor.)

Also also, i’m supposed to get on a plane for Istanbul in six days (and later a plane for Paris) and i’m finding myself having a terribly human argument in my head between “not going to miss this trip” and “don’t really want to die.”

The truly ridiculous thing is that my real stress is that i feel puffy and ugly and i’m getting my picture taken today for work marketing materials.

Yes, my major stress in the face of pain and possibly life-threatening illness is, “Do i still look hot?”